Brockenhurst Lodge 7040

Last evening saw the meeting of Brockenhurst Lodge No. 7040, where the brethren assembled to Raise Bro. Tim Logan. The crowd was not enormous—around 30—but what they lacked in numbers they made up for in enthusiasm, volume and a waft of fresh deodorant.

The ceremony began with the JW reducing the terrestrial column to several smaller, less terrestrial columns - more by accident than design, I believe. W. Bro. Ginge was Tyler and, let’s be honest, no one was about to challenge a member of the Widows Sons, particularly after some of the furniture had already been destroyed.

From that point onwards, the ceremony proceeded splendidly and with considerably less structural damage. The JW redeemed himself with an admirable rendition of the Working Tools, proving he could do something other than demolition. W. Bro. Dave Sherwood then delivered the Traditional History excellently, without damaging a single item of Lodge property.

The Secretary reported on the recent woes of W. Bro. Peter Wreford, who had attempted to start his tractor in a manner apparently omitted from the manufacturer’s handbook and ended up being run over by the machine. Despite being grievously wounded, he staggered faint and bleeding to summon help. Although quite seriously injured, he is recovering and hopes to limp back into Lodge before too long. The rumour that the whole episode was merely an elaborate attempt to secure a flight in the Air Ambulance proved unfounded: after all that effort, he was taken to hospital by road ambulance instead. We wish him a full and speedy recovery - and perhaps a slightly more conventional relationship with agricultural machinery.

All in all, it was a thoroughly good first meeting after the summer break: one Brother Raised, one column lowered rather abruptly, and enough material generated to keep the Lodge storytellers occupied until the next meeting.

As usual, the food is reviewed under 'A Square meal'.